A Day in the Life of a God
by GGMK
Summary: When you're the God of Destruction, your every day life tends to involve blowing stuff up, only sometimes for a good reason. Takes place before Battle of Gods.


**Written for GeorgyannWayson's minor character challenge! I chose Bills since he has only appeared in one film, and one chapter of a parody manga!**

* * *

><p>Waking up early in the morning is such a pain.<p>

Those were the first thoughts that went through the mind of Bills as he stretched and yawned. Sitting up, he looked around his room, his tail waving lazily. Taking a few moments to regain his bearings, Bills decided that walking downstairs was too much trouble, so used his Ki energy to slowly float to his destination.

Indeed, he flew so slowly, he actually fell asleep mid-way, still hovering in the air.

Anyone who wasn't used to Bills would be surprised. How could anyone be so laidback in a place like this? Bills lived in a very strange place: a castle on a flying island, where each room was filled with strange lights and colors, and where bubbles and hourglasses filled with sand could be found flying about.

But Bills had lived in this castle since...well, no one knew for sure, but well since before the first human was even born. If he wasn't wowed by his living environments, he could be excused.

Bills had an attendant named Whis. Speaking of Whis, the slender, white-haired man had just noticed Bills lazing about. Slightly tiffed, Whis raised his staff, and fired a volley of energy balls at Bills. When the smoke cleared, Bills could be seen wiping his eyes.

"Bills, I must ask that you don't fall asleep during breakfast, please," Whis said, hoping Bills would pay attention this once.

"Sorry, sorry. I'm not a morning person, you know," Bills replied, hopping in his seat. Clapping his hands together, he thanked Whis for the meal, and ate with vigor. Whis turned away; watching Bills pig out was gross.

After Whis forced Bills to wash the dishes, Bills flopped on a flying couch.

"OK, Whis, what is on the agenda for today?" Bills almost hated to ask. As one of the Gods of Destruction, he had so much to do. Bills felt that, as a god and all that, he should have more free time. He crossly told Whis this.

"You do get free time. The problem is, you spend it all napping. Your longest nap was for over 100 years, you know." Bills looked shocked.

"Don't play dumb, please." Whis said, frowning. Bills was so high maintenance.

Whis cleared his throat.

"Well, we have a meeting with the ruler of the North Galaxy, there seems to be a problem with Shenron, and there is a new intergalactic buffet opening in the South Galaxy. That about covers it."

"Let's do the buffet first!" Bills demanded, his canine mouth already watering.

"That will be last. You will need the motivation." and Whis ignored any further whining that came from Bills.

Shenron was very, very far away from the castle where Bills and Whis lived. If you asked how far, the answer would be the length of Mercury to Pluto, times 10. However, Bills and Whis were pretty fast, and they arrived at Shenron's cave in under an hour.

"Let's just get this over with. I don't see why I have to deal with a stupid dragon anyway," Bills muttered as he stomped inside the cave. He came face to face with the large green dragon. Any normal person would have been quivering; Bills merely gave Shenron a glare.

"You are Bills, correct? I demand fair treatment. Another dragon, Porunga, has been given better treatment than I," Shenron said, his rage being known by the way his whiskers quivered.

Bills crossed his lanky arms. The Dragon Balls weren't even his jurisdiction. What the heck?

"Look, I don't really care about any of this Dragon Ball stuff. Why do you feel mis-treated anyway?" Shenron blinked.

"Well, Porunga's Dragon Balls have fewer restrictions. Also, he gets to have a muscular body for some reason. It isn't fair," and Bills could have sworn that Shenron was pouting. Well, that wasn't a sight you saw every day. Bills didn't have much sympathy, however.

"That sounds petty of you," Bills said bluntly. Shenron looked shocked! Bills imagined that no one had ever dared to call Shenron petty before. Shenron's face slowly morphed from shock to anger, and the dragon's red eyes began to light up.

"Take this!" Shenron yelled as he breathed fire on Bills. Bills yawned. He had expected the legendary, wish-granting dragon to be a bit more powerful. Bills was suddenly beside Shenron, and with one hand, gripped Shenron's neck. Shenron gasped for breath, trying to squeeze away, but to no avail.

"That wasn't very nice," Bills scolded. He was just doing his job after all. But if Shenron wanted to get tough…

Bills punched Shenron in the stomach (neck?) very hard. Shenron doubled over in pain.

"I don't appreciate being yelled at, or being attacked for that matter," Bills said coldly. Whis clapped. That had been dealt with sooner than Whis had thought, so now they could meet up with King Kai! Despite being pretty much a god himself, King Kai lived in this boring green planet, where he lived with his pet monkey, Bubbles, and pet cricket (!).

Upon arriving at the place, they heard King Kai's garbled voice from behind a tree.

"Bubbles, you get down from there! Oh, what will I do with you?" Bills and Whis exchanged a look.

"I should help him out," Bills thought out loud, and blasted the tree with a Ki blast. A screaming King Kai and Bubbles flew out of the explosion. They landed in a patch of grass, which wasn't hard, since the planet was full of soft patches of grass. King Kai stood up, fixing his glasses.

"What the heck was that for, huh?" Kai screamed. Bills thought that King Kai was annoying. The guy was always screaming or panicking for some reason or other. Whis, on the other hand, decided to ignore King Kai.

"We are here to discuss the various matters pertaining to the North Galaxy. We assume some extra planets have popped up that need demolishing?" King Kai nodded.

"Yeah. Some star blew up too soon, creating a planet that is uninhabitable, and is wrecking the ecosystem. It's gotta go!"

Bills grinned. Finally, a job he liked. Blowing planets up was something he enjoyed doing, and he was good at it.

One planet-busting energy ball later, and King Kai had invited Bills to play a friendly racing game. Bills accepted.

"Be warned, old man! I never lose at games," Bills bragged. King Kai laughed.

"Don't be so sure. I play against Bubbles all the time!" Bills wasn't sure if that was practice at all, but oh well.

A few minutes later, Bills was fuming. He had lost three games in a row!

"Best of 10!" Bills barked at King Kai. Whis, who was watching from afar, knew what was going to happen, but decided against stopping Bills. This was King Kai's fault, after all.

A few minutes later, and Bills had ripped the game cartridge from the console, and smashed it under his foot.

"Hey, why did you do that? Sore loser!" King Kai was screaming again, and Bills could not take it another second. He roared, and flew out the window, flying above King Kai's cottage. Raising a finger, he materialized an energy ball, until it was the size of a watermelon. Casually, he tossed it towards the cottage.

Boom.

Bills and Whis didn't stick around to see the fireworks. As far as Bills was concerned, it was a job well done. And he was already looking forward to their next stop: the buffet! There was a line in front of the buffet, but an explosion caused by Bills allowed them to enter right away. Bills excitedly piled his plate with a sample of almost everything on the menu (with the exception of most green food, because ech).

"Pace yourself, Lord Bills," Whis said, not looking up from his cup of tea. Bills ignored Whis, as usual, and tried eating some meat, mashed potatoes, and some mysterious blue food all at once. Whis sighed delicately.

A small green-colored waiter arrived. His five eyes all blinked nervously, and he wrung his webbed hands together.

"Oh esteemed Bills, I must ask that you give us money in exchange for your food." Bills looked up sharply, still slurping down noodles.

"Please, don't be upset, but we ask that all customers pay the proper amount, even you," the nervous waiter babbled on. Bills didn't like that, not one bit. He was a god. A god should not have to pay anything. This buffet would have to learn it's place. Bills stood up, and a resigned Whis did the same moments later.

"Are you leaving, good sirs?" the waiter asked, looking a bit relieved. This ticked off Bills even further. He smiled a mock smile to put the waiter at ease…and then raised a finger.

Boom.

"Was that necessary, Lord Bills?" Whis asked. He had been enjoying his tea. Bills sulked.

"Yes, it was. That waiter bugged me. Besides, any problem can be solved by blowing it up, especially when you're a God of Destruction," Bills answered mischievously. Whis couldn't find anything to say to that, so he just shrugged as they headed home. Assuming Bills didn't take a long nap, tomorrow would probably bring more explosions. Oh joy. When you lived with a God of Destruction, those tended to happen.

Still, Whis enjoyed travelling with Bills. Bills could be an immature brat of a god, but he was fun too. He kept things from getting boring at any rate. Whis wouldn't want their adventures to end, ever.


End file.
